three words: i give head
three words: not that well
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Shame is for Republicans.
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