Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
