Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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