Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
