Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
