my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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