I hope mine doesn't look like that
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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