My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize