You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
