the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
