we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I still have a little drunk in my system
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
