lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
