soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize