week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Even my vagina gasped.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
