I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
