oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
