I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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