Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
