Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
