do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize