So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
