Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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