Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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