you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize