All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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