it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
