man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
