My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
