I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
