He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Randomize
