dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
