My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
