I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
