I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just found puke in my bra..
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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