Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
