I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
