Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
