That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
