Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
