the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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