I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
