apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
