I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
