Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
