white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
His hands were made for my vagina.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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