You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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