have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize