fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I will die if light touches me.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
