Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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