but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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