Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize