i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
