wanna go halves on a baby?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
