Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
