i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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