I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
