Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I looked at my own cervix.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
