So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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