is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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