Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
His hands were made for my vagina.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
