I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
