I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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