tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
This is the high leading the old right now
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
