Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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