Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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