He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
