Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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