You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
