haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
