after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
