what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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