all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
