im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
