he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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