I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So squirting runs in the family.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
