He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
