I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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