is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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