Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
